Living with ADHD

This is something that has been with me all of my life.
When I was young, I had no idea that I was different from other people. Had no idea why I was always in trouble, being punished, told to settle down, not being allowed to go places.
When I look at the old 8mm movies that were taken by my Dad and Uncle Joe I am absolutely amazed at the things that I am doing. Crawling under tables, jumping up and down, sticking my hand in front of the camera. After viewing the old films, I am surprised that I wasn't locked up, tied up with duck tape, or heavily sedated. My poor parents.
It is really a very frustrating place to be, having a mind that jumps from one place to another. Great if not fantastic ideas popping into your mind and before you can act on them they are gone. Knowing that family, friends, and complete strangers do not want you to be around. When you finally realize that you do not think or act like the rest of society you get to go thru every emotion that is available. Angry because you are misjudged, Sad cause no one understands, Mad cause you are a good person just different, glad that you are different.
Sitting still as a child was an impossible thing for me. I can only explain it my way. There was a vibration in me like a rocket sitting on the launch pad. The longer I tried to be quiet and sit still the higher the vibration got and like a rocket when the vibration got to strong I had to move, kick my feet, swing my arms, sing out loud. I understand now the frustration that caused for the people around me but to me it was a happy occurrence, a rush, almost orgasmic. I do not remember any unhappy days as a small child even thou my behavior, I am sure created alot of them for my love ones. Being corrected, punished, spanked, was just part of living and it would pass out of my mind just a quickly as those fantastic thoughts did. I never had to worry about what to think cause thoughts just screamed thru my mind and if one is bad, it will be gone before I can put any really serious thought into it.
I must say I am having a hard time with tense writing this cause it should be written in a past tense since it happened over 45 years ago but most of it is still true today thou, most of the time I can control the physical behavior and have learned to sit still and be quiet. In fact I have learned to enjoy sitting still and love quiet.
In the 1950's when I was a child there weren't' any drugs to calm children who were hyper active. That was probably good for me, but not so good for the rest of the people in my universe.
Sometimes I wish I could have 2 lives maybe if someone could have slowed down my speedy mind and body I might have been a more productive and successful person. But I would not want to give up who I am, its just back to the what ifs... I know alot of people who have normal minds and they have some of the same problems I have. Or maybe the what ifs are just a part of being human