If you are looking for a wonderful blog to read go to alex shalman.com. What a wonderful way to start the day. He has a new thing going on that is interactive with other bloggers. You take the questions to the Happiness Project and answer them. Let him know and he will read all of them and then spot light certain ones on his web site. All of the reading is great ,to be able to see lots of peoples lives and how they are happy and stay happy is really inspirational. I answered the questions for the Happiness Project and tried to link it to Alex. Oh and that is where the happiness stopped. I not only could not figure out how to link this blog to it but also lost my answers. Ah yes once again this computer has beaten me. Never the less. I will keep blogging and someday I will get this all figured out.
Pat
Monday, March 24, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
More on teenagers Part 2
Breana had a complete melt down at 5:30 am. Thinks she is being treated like a dog. Lets see: she has her own room, central air, in-ground pool in back yard, full refrigerator, cell phone, color TV/with cable, nice clothes, private shower, tub, toilet, the kind of shampoo, deodorant, make-up, that she wants. It doesn't seem that bad. Alot of people have all of the creature comforts that they could want and still are miserable. That is how Breana feels.
The question is, how do you make a miserable teenager realize that life is not that bad and that you don't have to play games with the people that take care of you.
Why in this human life does it have to be so hard. Why does the human life have to hit rock bottom before we appreciate what we have. Why do teenagers' have to turn their backs on the people that love and care for them and take up with people who will hurt them, lower there self esteem, maybe even get them arrested.
So the cell phone went to work with my daughter this morning. She thinks that she will die without it. I am hoping not.
If she can get thru this part of her life, she could possibly turn out to be a fairly nice person.
Choices' have to be made, and they are on her shoulders. Hopefully she will make the correct ones.
Pat
The question is, how do you make a miserable teenager realize that life is not that bad and that you don't have to play games with the people that take care of you.
Why in this human life does it have to be so hard. Why does the human life have to hit rock bottom before we appreciate what we have. Why do teenagers' have to turn their backs on the people that love and care for them and take up with people who will hurt them, lower there self esteem, maybe even get them arrested.
So the cell phone went to work with my daughter this morning. She thinks that she will die without it. I am hoping not.
If she can get thru this part of her life, she could possibly turn out to be a fairly nice person.
Choices' have to be made, and they are on her shoulders. Hopefully she will make the correct ones.
Pat
Monday, March 17, 2008
More on teenagers
Trying to raise a teenager is hard. Trying to raise a teenager that is not yours is even harder. My daughter, married a man with children.
Brandon is 20, and in college, pretty much a normal 20 year old thinks his father is made of money and should share with him but other than that a fairly pleasant person to be around.
Breana is 16, highly intelligent and does not have to put much effort into being a high B student. Spent last year hating her father and doing all that she could to try and ruin her life. the gist of last year ended up being juvenile hall, probation, and being shipped off to relatives in the country.
This year she is in an alternative school, dating a felon, and playing games at home.
Not being related to this teenager it makes it much easier to see, the way she tries and succeeds at manipulating others, myself included. They can look and sound so innocent and it only takes a nano second to be sucked in. Right now she is grounded for not being able to make it home on time. Has an excuse every time but just can't make it in the door. Seems to me it is a power play, just has to push the envelope every time. If this was an episode of "Dog Whisperer" it would be about who is the alpha dog. Hmmm, Maybe we should have Cesar Milan come by.
More on this to come.
Pat
Brandon is 20, and in college, pretty much a normal 20 year old thinks his father is made of money and should share with him but other than that a fairly pleasant person to be around.
Breana is 16, highly intelligent and does not have to put much effort into being a high B student. Spent last year hating her father and doing all that she could to try and ruin her life. the gist of last year ended up being juvenile hall, probation, and being shipped off to relatives in the country.
This year she is in an alternative school, dating a felon, and playing games at home.
Not being related to this teenager it makes it much easier to see, the way she tries and succeeds at manipulating others, myself included. They can look and sound so innocent and it only takes a nano second to be sucked in. Right now she is grounded for not being able to make it home on time. Has an excuse every time but just can't make it in the door. Seems to me it is a power play, just has to push the envelope every time. If this was an episode of "Dog Whisperer" it would be about who is the alpha dog. Hmmm, Maybe we should have Cesar Milan come by.
More on this to come.
Pat
Friday, March 14, 2008
Family Loss
We put the old dog down today. It wasn't my dog it was Brandons' His name was Jake. I can imagine that at sometime in his life he was brave, majestic, loyal, handsome, and maybe even smelled good.
I believe he was a chocolate lab. Had a kind spirit, didn't ask much, just a few dog bones, he gave up along time ago that someone would walk him, pay attention to him, or have a kind word or smile.
He must have been around 16, don't know for sure. He came with my daughters new husband and family. The kids Brandon 20 and Breana 16 forgot about him along time ago. Or maybe he was never appreciated.
The last couple of days he hasn't been able to get up or relieve himself. Sad.
I can only hope that he is running in some field somewhere and that someone is loving him for just who he is. I hope that where ever his soul has gone that someone is there to keep him company.
Good bye Old Dog. Hope you find a better life.
Pat
I believe he was a chocolate lab. Had a kind spirit, didn't ask much, just a few dog bones, he gave up along time ago that someone would walk him, pay attention to him, or have a kind word or smile.
He must have been around 16, don't know for sure. He came with my daughters new husband and family. The kids Brandon 20 and Breana 16 forgot about him along time ago. Or maybe he was never appreciated.
The last couple of days he hasn't been able to get up or relieve himself. Sad.
I can only hope that he is running in some field somewhere and that someone is loving him for just who he is. I hope that where ever his soul has gone that someone is there to keep him company.
Good bye Old Dog. Hope you find a better life.
Pat
Thursday, March 13, 2008
John Chow and Friends
Like all bloggers, I am addicted to the advice and information that you can find on the web. Like my previous blog, I am still looking for the step by step instructions on how to connect to the rest of the internet world.
I found JohnChow.com and he is great, lots of information and a free e-book on how to link to everything. I do believe I have a mind block when it comes to following directions. Or maybe I am making it way to difficult to do . I will admit pushing the correct buttons, and entering the info in the correct places seems a daunting task for me. My brother is busy and my daughter threw her back out so I am back to doing this on my own. I found Alex Shalmans' website thru John Chow. Lots of great information of personal growth and positive thinking. I would classify him on the same pages as Anthony Salerno, Joseph Murphy, and Wayne Dyer.
I have hooked up his RSS feed to my home page so I can start my day with his and John Chows blogs.
I guess what I actually doing is procrastinating on getting started on my own blogs. If I can sit at the computer and read great blogs, then run out of time to write my own. It makes me feel much better than staying in bed and ignoring the laptop.
I will get all of this figured out and I will find the rest of you bloggers. I have thoughts to share.
So thanks John and Alex, I appreciate the advice, and warm fuzzes. See you in the morning over coffee.
I found JohnChow.com and he is great, lots of information and a free e-book on how to link to everything. I do believe I have a mind block when it comes to following directions. Or maybe I am making it way to difficult to do . I will admit pushing the correct buttons, and entering the info in the correct places seems a daunting task for me. My brother is busy and my daughter threw her back out so I am back to doing this on my own. I found Alex Shalmans' website thru John Chow. Lots of great information of personal growth and positive thinking. I would classify him on the same pages as Anthony Salerno, Joseph Murphy, and Wayne Dyer.
I have hooked up his RSS feed to my home page so I can start my day with his and John Chows blogs.
I guess what I actually doing is procrastinating on getting started on my own blogs. If I can sit at the computer and read great blogs, then run out of time to write my own. It makes me feel much better than staying in bed and ignoring the laptop.
I will get all of this figured out and I will find the rest of you bloggers. I have thoughts to share.
So thanks John and Alex, I appreciate the advice, and warm fuzzes. See you in the morning over coffee.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
blog,domain,rss,diggi,delicious,backlinks etc
In the 70's I learned to use computers, Really complicated things like fortran, rpg, pl1 and 2 basic. Then there were the systems zenix Unix dos.
You had to keep your keypunch cards in order and neatly stacked and you had to have air conditioning to keep your computer cool.
I never did get very good at fortran and the system that we used on our main frame was Unix. When they invented windows it was not compatible with Unix so you had to be very careful when entering data not to confuse the poor thing.
Then they invented the PC. and Bill made all of our lives much more fulfilled. Just click on an icon and it took you to where you needed to go.
Then came Excite, Yahoo and Google. I no longer had to run the kids to the library or pay for the yearly Annuals that went with the encyclopedias that went out of date before you could read them.
Now we have this blog action going on, I will admit that I read blogs for a long time before I started one. Kinda like being a voyeur, in on conversations in a restaurant, but better, people actually wanting to know your opinion.
So I start this blog and there is no one to read it. Then I find out that I need to know all of the above: domain, rss, diggi,delicious, back links, blog groups etc.
I have been reading and studying for the past 3 months and I must say alot of it is interesting but I have not figured it out yet.
So if by chance you stumble across this please sent me a message to let me know that you were here.
Pat
You had to keep your keypunch cards in order and neatly stacked and you had to have air conditioning to keep your computer cool.
I never did get very good at fortran and the system that we used on our main frame was Unix. When they invented windows it was not compatible with Unix so you had to be very careful when entering data not to confuse the poor thing.
Then they invented the PC. and Bill made all of our lives much more fulfilled. Just click on an icon and it took you to where you needed to go.
Then came Excite, Yahoo and Google. I no longer had to run the kids to the library or pay for the yearly Annuals that went with the encyclopedias that went out of date before you could read them.
Now we have this blog action going on, I will admit that I read blogs for a long time before I started one. Kinda like being a voyeur, in on conversations in a restaurant, but better, people actually wanting to know your opinion.
So I start this blog and there is no one to read it. Then I find out that I need to know all of the above: domain, rss, diggi,delicious, back links, blog groups etc.
I have been reading and studying for the past 3 months and I must say alot of it is interesting but I have not figured it out yet.
So if by chance you stumble across this please sent me a message to let me know that you were here.
Pat
Monday, March 10, 2008
Living ADHD 2
I learned to control my outward movement and noise out of self-preservation. No one likes to be in trouble all the time. Plus start adding the guilt thing, by parents, teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles neighbors anyone who could make you feel guilty about the fact that you were not doing, learning or acting like you should. Like other kids did. Pretty soon you work out a way to keep all of these people happy and still pursue your own interest.
I think this is a good time to mention that I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school, My mom was the school Secretary, my dad was in the Knights of Columbus. I only mention this cause I think alot of the guilt thing is imposed on the psyche by the Catholic thing. the Catholic thing is a whole other blog and I will try to get to it one day.
Once I learned to control my outward movement and noise making, I found the most wonderful universe inside my own mind. I remember being in class and mentally being hundreds of other places. I could go fishing, sailing, swimming , fly with a bird that went past the window, feel the wind on my face as I soared along beside, wings outstretch, looking down at the rest of the world and yes, still hear Sister Laurtencia ask me to come to the board and write the answer. And have the correct answer!. Thank you God, for auto-pilot.
I think this is a good time to mention that I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school, My mom was the school Secretary, my dad was in the Knights of Columbus. I only mention this cause I think alot of the guilt thing is imposed on the psyche by the Catholic thing. the Catholic thing is a whole other blog and I will try to get to it one day.
Once I learned to control my outward movement and noise making, I found the most wonderful universe inside my own mind. I remember being in class and mentally being hundreds of other places. I could go fishing, sailing, swimming , fly with a bird that went past the window, feel the wind on my face as I soared along beside, wings outstretch, looking down at the rest of the world and yes, still hear Sister Laurtencia ask me to come to the board and write the answer. And have the correct answer!. Thank you God, for auto-pilot.
living ADHD 1
I screamed (not cried) for the first 6 months of my life. I don't remember but anyone who new my parents in 1950, 1951 will attest to the fact that I screamed for the first 6 months of my life. My mother would correct anyone if they said the crying baby, to the screaming baby. They said it was colic and they treated me with paregoric ( it is a opiate).
Don't know if it worked, I would say not to good, since I screamed for 6 months.
When I was in my 20's and experimenting with recreational drugs (like everyone else in the 60's and 70's) she blamed it on the fact that they treated me with paregoric. I don't think she ever admitted to herself that I was and am hyper-active.
I don't have any memories of being younger than 5 years old. Don't know if that has anything to do with ADHD or not. I believe it has to do with the fact that my brain jumps around so much that I probably was just on auto-pilot during those years.
When I was in elementary school and jumping around from seat to seat and singing songs and pretty much creating havoc in any ones classroom I found it easiest to only remember what I needed to pass a test or make it thru the day. It made my mom happy and my teachers happy. I never tried to learn anything just for me, just to please the important people in my life. Also to keep myself out of trouble. Even people with ADHD, will go the extra mile to stay out of the hot seat.
Moving and making noise was my highest priority. I remember just wanting to run , skip, jump, hop, sing, you name it, if it had to do with movement or noise I was there.
I still don't know how I was able to learn anything. But somehow I retained what was taught to me. That is why I call it auto-pilot. My mind screamed from one place to another. The hardest thing to do was listen to someone who was talking about something for more than a couple of minutes.
Somehow I figured out a way to disconnect part of my brain to listen to what was being said and retain it. The major part of my brain I used for what was important to me. I would say by 3rd or 4th grade I had learned to sit still quit singing and talking out loud...
Don't know if it worked, I would say not to good, since I screamed for 6 months.
When I was in my 20's and experimenting with recreational drugs (like everyone else in the 60's and 70's) she blamed it on the fact that they treated me with paregoric. I don't think she ever admitted to herself that I was and am hyper-active.
I don't have any memories of being younger than 5 years old. Don't know if that has anything to do with ADHD or not. I believe it has to do with the fact that my brain jumps around so much that I probably was just on auto-pilot during those years.
When I was in elementary school and jumping around from seat to seat and singing songs and pretty much creating havoc in any ones classroom I found it easiest to only remember what I needed to pass a test or make it thru the day. It made my mom happy and my teachers happy. I never tried to learn anything just for me, just to please the important people in my life. Also to keep myself out of trouble. Even people with ADHD, will go the extra mile to stay out of the hot seat.
Moving and making noise was my highest priority. I remember just wanting to run , skip, jump, hop, sing, you name it, if it had to do with movement or noise I was there.
I still don't know how I was able to learn anything. But somehow I retained what was taught to me. That is why I call it auto-pilot. My mind screamed from one place to another. The hardest thing to do was listen to someone who was talking about something for more than a couple of minutes.
Somehow I figured out a way to disconnect part of my brain to listen to what was being said and retain it. The major part of my brain I used for what was important to me. I would say by 3rd or 4th grade I had learned to sit still quit singing and talking out loud...
Living with ADHD
This is something that has been with me all of my life.
When I was young, I had no idea that I was different from other people. Had no idea why I was always in trouble, being punished, told to settle down, not being allowed to go places.
When I look at the old 8mm movies that were taken by my Dad and Uncle Joe I am absolutely amazed at the things that I am doing. Crawling under tables, jumping up and down, sticking my hand in front of the camera. After viewing the old films, I am surprised that I wasn't locked up, tied up with duck tape, or heavily sedated. My poor parents.
It is really a very frustrating place to be, having a mind that jumps from one place to another. Great if not fantastic ideas popping into your mind and before you can act on them they are gone. Knowing that family, friends, and complete strangers do not want you to be around. When you finally realize that you do not think or act like the rest of society you get to go thru every emotion that is available. Angry because you are misjudged, Sad cause no one understands, Mad cause you are a good person just different, glad that you are different.
Sitting still as a child was an impossible thing for me. I can only explain it my way. There was a vibration in me like a rocket sitting on the launch pad. The longer I tried to be quiet and sit still the higher the vibration got and like a rocket when the vibration got to strong I had to move, kick my feet, swing my arms, sing out loud. I understand now the frustration that caused for the people around me but to me it was a happy occurrence, a rush, almost orgasmic. I do not remember any unhappy days as a small child even thou my behavior, I am sure created alot of them for my love ones. Being corrected, punished, spanked, was just part of living and it would pass out of my mind just a quickly as those fantastic thoughts did. I never had to worry about what to think cause thoughts just screamed thru my mind and if one is bad, it will be gone before I can put any really serious thought into it.
I must say I am having a hard time with tense writing this cause it should be written in a past tense since it happened over 45 years ago but most of it is still true today thou, most of the time I can control the physical behavior and have learned to sit still and be quiet. In fact I have learned to enjoy sitting still and love quiet.
In the 1950's when I was a child there weren't' any drugs to calm children who were hyper active. That was probably good for me, but not so good for the rest of the people in my universe.
Sometimes I wish I could have 2 lives maybe if someone could have slowed down my speedy mind and body I might have been a more productive and successful person. But I would not want to give up who I am, its just back to the what ifs... I know alot of people who have normal minds and they have some of the same problems I have. Or maybe the what ifs are just a part of being human
When I was young, I had no idea that I was different from other people. Had no idea why I was always in trouble, being punished, told to settle down, not being allowed to go places.
When I look at the old 8mm movies that were taken by my Dad and Uncle Joe I am absolutely amazed at the things that I am doing. Crawling under tables, jumping up and down, sticking my hand in front of the camera. After viewing the old films, I am surprised that I wasn't locked up, tied up with duck tape, or heavily sedated. My poor parents.
It is really a very frustrating place to be, having a mind that jumps from one place to another. Great if not fantastic ideas popping into your mind and before you can act on them they are gone. Knowing that family, friends, and complete strangers do not want you to be around. When you finally realize that you do not think or act like the rest of society you get to go thru every emotion that is available. Angry because you are misjudged, Sad cause no one understands, Mad cause you are a good person just different, glad that you are different.
Sitting still as a child was an impossible thing for me. I can only explain it my way. There was a vibration in me like a rocket sitting on the launch pad. The longer I tried to be quiet and sit still the higher the vibration got and like a rocket when the vibration got to strong I had to move, kick my feet, swing my arms, sing out loud. I understand now the frustration that caused for the people around me but to me it was a happy occurrence, a rush, almost orgasmic. I do not remember any unhappy days as a small child even thou my behavior, I am sure created alot of them for my love ones. Being corrected, punished, spanked, was just part of living and it would pass out of my mind just a quickly as those fantastic thoughts did. I never had to worry about what to think cause thoughts just screamed thru my mind and if one is bad, it will be gone before I can put any really serious thought into it.
I must say I am having a hard time with tense writing this cause it should be written in a past tense since it happened over 45 years ago but most of it is still true today thou, most of the time I can control the physical behavior and have learned to sit still and be quiet. In fact I have learned to enjoy sitting still and love quiet.
In the 1950's when I was a child there weren't' any drugs to calm children who were hyper active. That was probably good for me, but not so good for the rest of the people in my universe.
Sometimes I wish I could have 2 lives maybe if someone could have slowed down my speedy mind and body I might have been a more productive and successful person. But I would not want to give up who I am, its just back to the what ifs... I know alot of people who have normal minds and they have some of the same problems I have. Or maybe the what ifs are just a part of being human
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