living ADHD 3

Impatince is me. Everyone moves so slow. Life seems to pass me by while I wait for the rest of the world to catch up.
As an adult you realize that the above statement is false. Not only are people keeping up with me, but passing me by.
Living inside of this hyperactive mind and body , it just seems like the rest of the world is slow. Slow would be a good thing, maybe I would be able to retain a little bit of knowledge. It is amazing to me that I have retained any knowledge. ADHD is kinda like being blond (I can say that cause I was born blond). When you can retain a thought you think you are the smartest person alive. But at the same time the mind is off and running to the next great idea. It is hard to stay on the same playing ground with "normal people" or should I say "normal thinking people.
Back to the blond thing" I use to believe that I was accomplishing so much: pop, pop,pop, Get"er done, and I guess I did get alot done. But then so did everybody else. Course I suppose if I would have delegated the work out or stayed out of the way and allowed others to do there own work at there own Pace. We would have accomplished so much more, god isn't life grand,
Pat

What are Memories?

Memories definition: The plural of memory, the ability of an organism to record information about things or events in the brain, with the facility of recalling them later at will.

I believe they are times, events, smells, temperatures, tastes, and sights. Memories are thoughts that connect with what is happening now this instant that triggers a door to open in the mind!, allowing old experiences and thoughts to ebb back to the part of the brain that is in the now.
If it is a memory that will keep you from harm or help you win at whatever game you are playing they are good.
If it is just an overload of past experiences of what happened at a different time and place with different people... IT can hold you back from experiencing life as it is today.
You must try and stay in the present. Enjoy today's experience, today's memories. All you have is now This moment.
Pat

strings of life

I have to many memories. They come blasting into my mind when ever they want. I must mention that I am very tactile, need to touch and smell everything, maybe that is where the memories come from. Just about anything that I do makes me think of other times in my life. I have to consciously demand my mind to stay in the present. I am able, in any second to wander off to places far away, or long ago, as if I am still there. As if a string has attached to my psyche and I am still connected to the past and past places, people long dead, or gone out of my life by miles and circumstances. Sometimes, it can be frustrating, or frighting, sometimes it is welcoming, warm, comforting, familial, a place where maybe I would be... you know just me. Not trying to be what others want me to be.
We wear many hats in our lives, maybe to many.
I usually cut the strings, stay where I am and go about my business, paying bills, playing with my grandson, doing the everyday chores that we all have.
But sometimes if no one is around and I have the time I go where the strings will take me to the past. Good, Bad, Indifferent, trying to figure out what this life is all about.
Pat

Death of a Dell Laptop

Krisann gave me her old dell laptop, it was an Inspirion 5160. I really liked it. Kinda heavy, and the fan was really loud, but very reliable and held all of my important information and links to all of the best places on the internet.
I no longer am able to click my little stumble upon button, to go to beautiful places on the web, some of the most fantastic pictures of space, flowers, people, mountians, rivers, seas and many other great photos.
Alex Shalmans' web page has been my morning read with coffee I had him on my start page. I still have coffee with Alex, but now I must wait till there is a computer available to use.
John Chow still sends me e-mail but once again there is the wait for a computer to check my e-mail.
How is it that one little piece of technology can make a human feel so lost when it dies. I feel like I have lost a close friend, someone who held my hand when sad and lonely, went on incredible journeys with me and was never to busy to sit down and play a game of cards or write a letter.
OK, I am not completely nuts. I know that a laptop is just so much plastic, and technology. That it has no feelings and does not really keep a human company.
But what a wonderful world that we live in that I am able to sit on the couch and go to all of the wonderful places and sites that I have gone to. Find any answer I have a question for. Read what is important to others in the world, finding others who want to share there thoughts and convictions.
I am now on Krisanns' Dell inspiron 1720, it is light and if it has a fan you can not even hear it. Krisann and family are Dell people, she is able to talk to her husband in Iraq, Dell to Dell thru Skypes they are even able to see each other face to face. Instant messages come thru from many friends near and far.
Krisann is achieving her dreams of finishing her college degree, thru this wonderful Dell connection.
I realize that the Internet is still there and someday I will get another computer, but my Dell inspiron 5160 was my portal to the wonderful, fantastic, incredible place called the Internet. I just feel better acknowledging the fact that it is gone and will be missed.
Pat